Creature Features

Not all great horror is just the classic stuff. There’s some really good modern tales as well. Vampires have redeemed themselves from Twilight hell with the current season of American Horror Story and the excellent Chapelwaite.

Chapelwaite is a really excellent expansion of the Stephen King short story Jerusalem’s Lot. I don’t want to spoil it for anyone that hasn’t seen it, but I will say that it does well what any horror show should, which is fill you with relatively constant dread.

There are some older little-known movies that I consider gems even though production maybe lower than that say on The Exorcist or The first (and only good) Amityville Horror. Case in point, The early 70’s film The Brotherhood of Satan. The dialog is far better than the dreadful films of the 90s, and Strother Martin is surprisingly intimidating in this. Forget cheesy Chucky, this has one of the freakiest evil doll I have ever seen.

That being said, I wish you all a fun and frightful October and Halloween!

Trolls gotta troll

I admit I don’t understand the vitriol in the past handful of years in so-called nerd culture. Once upon a time, it was hard to find good movies or television shows that catered to sci-fi or fantasy fans, at least of much quality. In the early 1980’s, people would eat up the likes of Empire Strikes Back or Excalibur (both great) because most of what was released was schlock. Catch a snippet of Space Crash and you’ll see what I mean about low quality.

Nowadays we’re blessed with an array of quality in the likes of the Marvel movies, The Witcher, and the Star Wars shows of the last six years. There is even good lighthearted fare in the likes of the recently concluded The Outpost, and Lucifer. I’m personally very fond of Britannia.

For whatever reason, though, we also have some outspoken internet trolls, let’s just call them whiners, that are all pissed off because television shows and movies don’t have the plot points that they think they should have. The most egregious whining has been from fans of Game of Thrones and the Star Wars sequels.

Firstly, oh my god, shut up, whiners! It’s freaking fiction! These are not documentaries that someone screwed up historical facts about! Rey does not exist! the Targaryans don’t exist! Raging nerds seem to think that filmmakers need to consult them about the path characters take. If you want a move to go the way you want it to, shut up and go film your own! Even some of the actors like John Boyega bitch about how they think their characters should have been utilized!

Look at any historical warfare for example. No WW2 veteran whined that their “role” in the conflict was not heroic enough for posterity. Do you think any of them said, “No, I shouldn’t have my leg blown off by a landmine here because I’m a main character and nothing bad happens to me, and I rescue a blonde that becomes my wife”. That isn’t realism! The downfall of Daenerys Targaryen at the end of GoT’s run is unfortunately very realistic. The heroic females of that show were Sansa, Arya, and Brienne! The character of Finn floundering around in The Last Jedi is very realistic because war often has very unfortunate setbacks.

If you watch any of these or other shows with an open mind and heart like I do, you’ll see how truly brilliant they are. I love how Game of Thrones ended because it was not a cartoonish fairytale ending. I love the Han Solo movie because it was lighthearted fun that gave us the back story we deserved. I LOVE the Star Wars sequels because they were gorgeously filmed and brilliantly written. Each time I see them, I catch a nuance to the tales I hadn’t noticed before, including a great symmetry with the original trilogy.

The most important thing to remember… it’s just entertainment. It’s just a way to pass the time, put a smile on your face, and forget your troubles for an hour or two. We are not owed more than that.

A Hidden Gem

This is for you classic rock fans. Do you remember that song “Brandy” by Looking Glass? It was featured prominently in the 2nd Guardians of the Galaxy movie (great soundtracks). Kind of a one-hit wonder but a really well known one from the early 70’s.

The condensed story about them is, at some point, the band decided they were tired of being so poppy and wanted to do something more rocking, so they fired the singer, got a new one and rechristened themselves as Starz.

You have got to get your hands on their albums! What great rock and roll! If you like Boston, Kiss, and Sweet, you will love Starz! Skip the album Attention Shoppers which was just a blah attempt at being more radio friendly. Start off with the eponymous first album from 1976 then head straight for Violation and Coliseum Rock. Those three albums are chock full of great rocking tracks!

If you need a sample, go to Spotify or Youtube and listen to Cherry Baby, Detroit Girls, and So Young So Bad. This is rock and roll at its best! For the life of me I don’t get why these guys were not more popular. They should’ve been huge. They are definitely one of my all-time favorite 70s bands, top five for sure.

October and Fall

I love October! I enjoy the cooler air, it’s not cold (depending on where you live) but it’s a nice respite after hot summers. If you throw on a sweater you’re good to go!

Places like Starbucks bring out their annual pumpkin spice drinks. I’m not too keen on those but they have this apple crisp macchiato that is amazing! I like food and drink with apples in it anyhow so that’s right up my alley.

And let’s not forget the fun of Halloween! We’ve broken out our silly decorations for the year. I acquired a cute ghost thing this year that is illuminated on the inside with flashing colors. A pretty good deal for just three bucks at a drug store. I wish I could afford the big elaborate creepy stuff people put on their lawns.

Pull out your favorite horror movies, grab a bowl of your favorite treats and let’s dig in to October!

I’ve said it before…

I saw some blog or so-called online magazine today where the author said two things, don’t use a typewriter (dated thing to say) and don’t wear pantyhose.

First of all, we pretty much all need to know how to use a keyboard unless someone’s a complete lazy ass!

She whined about numerous things like being sweaty and getting infections. I’ve said it before and I will say it many times again until people are sick of hearing it. If you have a problem with wearing pantyhose, the problem isn’t the pantyhose, it’s YOU. If wearing it is giving you odd health issues then you have problems with hygiene, not nylon material.

And, most of all, whining about pantyhose at all is an excuse for being a nasty frump that dresses like an eight year-old boy, which should never be someone’s template for style. Hosiery is the epitome of femininity.

Let’s stay classy, ladies. Wear that hosiery.

And more competition

So the Emmy’s was a thing last night. I stopped watching the televised awards shows long ago but I often glance at the winners list. I feel even more strongly that artistic endeavors should not be subject to competition and instead simple achievement. All of the nominations for any of the categories were worthy so why should anyone have to pick one? Surely we could instead have awards given out for all great shows, writing, performances as an acknowledgement of what was great in a past year. Perhaps then we wouldn’t have issues like #emmyssowhite, or great shows like The Mandalorian and Wandavision getting shut out for being genre.

That doesn’t mean give out “participation” awards. There should be a minimum of achievement to deserve kudos. Crap like Jennifer’s Body should have all the DVD copies burned and tossed in a garbage heap where they belong.

But for what is our best, let’s stop competing and start lifting each other up and acknowledging everyone’s greatness.

Speaking of competition…

Ugh, it’s that time of year again. It’s time for the weekly broadcasts of grown men with a ball being chased by other grown men. The NFL athletes may be able to throw, kick, or run faster and more accurately than the rest of us, but it still comes to grown-ups playing a game appropriate for eight year-olds.

The athletes absurdly thank God when they win a Super Bowl. Really? You think God will play favorites in a dumb ball game? God didn’t bless a one of you stinky dudes. God has more important prayers to answer from people who are scared and in need. Also, the athletes get so wrecked if they lose a game, especially the Super Bowl. It’s like they think they were all entitled to a win somehow and were robbed by destiny.

The fans are the worst part. The athletes don’t represent you! They represent their paychecks! The fans sit on their ever-widening asses every Sunday and Monday scarfing down fattening snacks and carb-heavy beers all so they can yell like an angry mob at the TV when there’s a play they don’t agree with. The fans in the stadiums will even be violent towards fans of the other teams! God forbid someone in City A should wear the hat or shirt for City B. All for men chasing a little ball. Americans clearly need a better sense of priority.

Think of what we would have achieved if all the money spent by the fans per year, all the money spent on team salaries, all the money spent on advertising, was spent on something more worthwhile, like artistic endeavors, world hunger, ridding us of an awful pandemic, or manned space exploration in our system and beyond.

Nope. Americans think it’s better to have a reason to hate their fellows and yell, “We’re NUMBER ONE!!!!”

Rock and roll all nite…

I have to laugh sometimes when some rock musician, famous or local, complains that Kiss aren’t good musicians. First of all, the lousy musicians of rock are from the 90’s onward (do you really think Mark Hoppus is skilled?). I don’t like Gene Simmons as a person but his bass playing in the 70s was very imaginative and not easy to play when you’re jumping around like the demon he portrays. And their guitar? Countless memorable tracks. There’s a reason we love Rock and Roll All Nite. What a great sing-along.

Kiss also came from an era of great straight-forward rock. Although I was too young to witness it, Kiss fit right in with the other early 70’s acts like Slade, T Rex, Sweet, Humble Pie. If you want something more complex like Kansas you can listen to them alone. I don’t care for BS classic rock that was designed to impress critics. I recommend sitting down and really immersing yourself in Kiss’ Destroyer, Rock and Roll Over, Alive 2, the ’78 Paul Stanley album, Creatures of the Night, 98’s Psycho Circus, and the more modern Sonic Boom.

Goddess bless Kiss and all the members present and past for such fun, energetic rock and roll!